Tattoo
by Caroline Berlin
Summary: Erza, Gray, and Natsu try to pry out of Lucy what tattoo she has on her butt. NatsuxLucy, ending has been changed.


AN- This isn't proofread, so this might have some issues.

Prompt- What the hell possessed you to get a tattoo on your _butt_?!

Disclaimer- Not mine, not mine, not mine.

* * *

Gray looked at Lucy. Erza looked at Lucy. Natsu looked at Lucy. Lucy looked at her shoes.

"What the hell possessed you to get a tattoo on your _butt_?!" Gray shouted. The members of Fairy Tail who weren't drunk off their asses looked up in interest.

"I don't have a tattoo on my butt. What would give you that idea?" a near-hysterical Lucy asked.

Gray, Erza, and Natsu had approached Lucy earlier, and had stared at her in disbelief. A combination of paranoia and sheer uncomfortableness from their stares had made it so that she was very agitated.

Erza glared at her blatant denial, while Gray and Natsu winced in sympathy. They knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of one of Erza's glares, and it wasn't fun.

However, they wanted to know as much as Erza did, and if it took one hundred of her infamous glares, they would put away their compassion for the time being.

"Natsu saw it himself. Speaking of which, why would Natsu see this tattoo if it's on your butt?" Erza's glare turned to Natsu.

Cowering before her gaze, and just barely restraining himself from making a puddle on the floor, Natsu attempted to come up with a plausible excuse that would not end with the conclusion of him with multiple shiny pointy objects through his body. Lucy turned to him, interested in how he would get out of this one.

"I, uh, I didn't!" Erza and Lucy raised an eyebrow at this. "That's right, I didn't see it, Lucy told me."

Lucy turned red with rage. "I didn't tell you, and I don't have a tattoo!" Everyone scoffed at her denial.

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know!" Someone shouted from across the room.

"I'm not in denial. I just don't have a tattoo on my butt." Lucy stated.

Loki popped up from behind Lucy, causing her to scream, twirl around to face him, and fall flat on her ass.

"Hello my beautiful lamb cake, how are you on this wonderful, love filled day?" Loki asked as he pulled her up into his arms.

Before Lucy could ask him what the hell a lamb cake had to do with anything, Erza interjected with, "Lucy has a tattoo on her butt." Lucy quickly jumped out of his arms.

Loki raised an eyebrow to accompany his lecherous grin, while Lucy sputtered out, "I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. TATTOO!"

"Well," Loki quickly responded, "there's only one way to find out then... I'll have to check it for myself!" Lucy attempted to smack him, only to find herself hitting thin air, as Loki had disappeared to avoid just that.

"You know," Gray began, "lover boy has a point. For us to find out once and for all if Lucy has a tattoo, we need to check it ourselves." Gray waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Natsu, upon seeing this, tackled him with a battle cry of, "Pervert!!!!!!!!!"

Ignoring the fighting boys behind her (for the first time in the history of the world), Erza dragged a protesting Lucy to the back room. She was going to find out whether Lucy had a tattoo, whether she wanted her to know or not!

A noise was heard from the doorway to the back room. The boys immediately jumped to attention, ready to pledge their never ending friendship. What they found sent shivers down their spines.

Erza emerged, pale, and looking like she wanted to throw up. It must have been something awful to have shaken Erza up so badly.

"What was it?!" they asked in tandem. Erza stood silently, muttering incoherent phrases, before perking back up for one of her favorite activities: Bullying Natsu!

"Natsu, if you already have seen it, why don't you know what it is?" She asked him.

"Well, I, uh, see, no, I didn't..." Natsu sighed in defeat. "Fine. I did see it, it's just that I was distracted at the time, and I wasn't really paying attention." Gray snickered at the obvious underlying meaning of this statement, while Erza shuddered at it.

"Well... what is it?!" they asked again. Erza dragged Lucy out from behind her, glaring at her in a way that clearly said either-you-tell-them-or-I-will-and-you-do-NOT-want-that-to-happen-so-start-talking.

"Well, uh, I do have a tattoo. But, it's not what you think!" Lucy exclaimed. "It's worse," Erza muttered.

"See, one night I was out at a bar (No, Gray, not a strip bar) getting really drunk, and I decided to call Plue out. So, I was talking to him (her?) and I kind of, sort of, thought he (she?) was talking English and telling me to get a tattoo. So, I went out to a tattoo parlor, and I got a tattoo of Happy on my butt."

Everyone within hearing range immediately started snickering at the mental image.

Happy immediately fainted in joy.

"Why did Natsu see this, again?" Gray asked.

Lucy flushed down to her roots.

"He was over at my house, once again," Lucy glanced down to side, and Gray heard her mutter that distinctly sounded like, "No respect for privacy," before she continued on.

"I was in the shower, and I had asked him to get my back, because it was covered in mmph!-"

Lucy was abruptly cut off by Natsu's hand covering her mouth. She pried it off of her face. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," she shot a glare at Natsu, "we had gotten into a mud fight earlier in the day, and I couldn't get it all off so Natsu helped me."

Seeming to accept this answer, after a suspicious glance, of course, Gray turned away. After a look from Erza that promised that they would discuss both the lie, and the sordid event that was lied about, she too turned her attention elsewhere.

Natsu leaned down to whisper to Lucy, "Let's keep what was really on your back between Erza, you and I, yes?"

Lucy blushed brightly at the mention of what Natsu had ACTUALLY covered her back in, likely remembering the, eh, _afternoon delight_, before fervently nodding.

AN- One of my boyfriends HAS called me a lamb cake. It was very disturbing, and likely one of the reasons I am so very, very weird.


End file.
